The Thoughts I Think, without notice
My thoughts have been a bit random lately, and I've found myself recalling the days/weeks either side of my confirmed diagnosis. The one constant complaint was, why won't anyone answer my most important question? What caused this? Cause and effect just weren't in any of my Drs vocab. Whereas I imagined that if I understood something about the cause or could affect the effect.
Frustrating.
I got over that,eventually!
Some of the many other What The moments still make me smile. Like, when I knew something was really 'wrong', and was visiting the Doc for blood results. She was very elegant, about 6' tall and was wearing a cool soft grey suit. I knew it was serious when, as she open my file and read the results her lovely soft white cheeks turned the same colour as her suit; she had literally turned grey.
There was no way I was ready for what happened next. She: I want you to have more tests. Me: why? She: I'm not going to tell you. Just have a new set of tests done. Me: I'm not having more tests unless you tell me the results of these, or what you're worried about. She: I'm not telling you. Me: then I'll be going.
With that I paused waiting for a response, nothing. So left her office, informed the receptionist I'd not be paying for the consult and walked out and started the search for a new Doc.
Another time, walking across the campus with an Irish colleague who was telling me a joke that made me laugh widely. Thinking I'd just got a bit too boisterous, I tried to ignore the sudden pain in my chest area Big mistake, it was a pulmonary embolism. Just as we'll a major hospital was just over the road. Didn't get to walk across that campus again for over ten days.
There are many more, but I will save them for a later post. If you feel like it, please share any you think will bring a smile to my face.
Cheers
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